A Confession & An Act Of Contrition

[Cryptos]

Dear FPNers,

 

It has come to my attention – self-realisation as well as any number of kindly people pointing it out – that my behaviour as a member of this forum has fallen significantly below the expected standard. Holding down a job while studying at University, and at the same time supporting my partner in the final year of her degree have no doubt extracted their pound of flesh with regard to stress. However, that is no excuse for the quite ignorant and at times abusive posting in which I have allowed myself to indulge.

 

On reflection I have serious reservations on whether I should have dipped a toe back into the ink-pool. I had forgotten how beautiful and how terrible this hobby can be. Overall though I just feel thoroughly ashamed. Most people who have interacted with me on various threads have done so in a spirit of encouragement and education.To spare the sensibilities of other members I think it might be a good idea to consider removing myself from the forum and to offer a general apology to all those who may have been stung by my words.

 

I am truly sorry.

 

 

May all sentient beings be at peace.

May all sentient beings be relieved from suffering.

 

David

[Totoro]

I am new to this forum, but what I have read from your posts has not sent me running in alarm. It is also obvious that you enjoy fountain pens and enjoy interacting with others. While it may appear to you that the honorable thing to do might be to withdraw, I do not believe it to be the universally correct thing to do. My opinion is that you are a positive, contributing member to this board and that you have not done anything to get you banned; either banned by the administration or yourself. If you are dissatisfied with your current participation, then please make it a goal to live up to your own standards. in this way, you not only help others, but you will help yourself, too. Good luck.

[Runnin_Ute]

Cryptos,

 

I think that Totoros has it right. I have been around a bit on the boards (almost daily recently) and don't recall any of your alleged misstatements in the threads that I have visited. That being said, if you recognize that you could have behaved better in a given situation, then learn from it and move on. Your apology of course is a step in the right direction to those you might have offended. Do the best you can to meet whatever standard you have set for yourself, in addition to the minimum standard to not be chased off (banned).

 

Everyone has stressful days. Learn from your mistakes and move on. No need to withdraw.

[rtruslow]

+1 Apology accepted. Now get over it and play nice with the other kids.

 

Rob

[USMCMom]

No, no ... don't leave us. Apology certainly accepted. We've all been less than we should have been at times ... a rock in the leaning path we all travel and sometimes trip over. Just stand in the corner and count to 7, then go back to the inky playground. Mom's orders.

[stonezebra]

What everybody else said. Apology accepted. Stick around. Some days we just might need to wait 5 minutes before we hit the Post button for whatever reason - been there, done that - learn from it and move on.

Edited June 5, 2014 by stonezebra

[pompa]

You should stick around. Didn't you and I have some silly argument before? I don't even remember what it was, but I know that I can be less than perfectly personable at times as well hehe

Lets just call it water under the bridge

[I like mango cheesecake]

this is nothing. You should visit one of my sportbike forums. People get so heated up over things said on the forums it'd end up in full swearing matches (forum is fully uncensored) and threats of violence amongst well known posters. The next day you'd go out riding with them and trust your life to them and vice versa.

 

Don't believe me. Go to bcsportbikes.com There's a lively heated debate going on right now. I would expect no less from a testosterone filled bunch of (bleep).

 

Sometimes I forget which forum I'm on I have to tame my level of discussion down, or ramp it up.

[Cryptos]

I have been on the cushion all afternoon (i'm a practitioner of Ch'an and PureLand). It was instructive and sobering, particularly as related to my relationship with my desires. For the past 3 years I have been holding together a family without any means of personal support. There is no associated sangha for my particular dharma path in my town. I thought I had coped pretty well, all things considered, but perhaps that was both an illusion and a delusion.

 

The monk in my avatar is Thich Nhat Hanh. He is my spiritual leader, although I have failed recently to put his lessons into practice. I have placed this picture to remind myself when posting that I should be kinder than what I have been, and more considerate than I have been. In other words, I hope to do better by you all.

 

I do not seek sympathy, and I certainly do not expect understanding.

 

My position regarding my fountain pen hobby remains the same; I have a small fistful of cheap Asian pens - some of which do not work for some reason I cannot fathom. I have a Sheaffer Sentinel that I was allowed to purchase to replace a family hand-down. There are not many pens that command my interest, and certainly not the type that would generally interest the connoisseur. In my imagination I could see myself enjoying a flexible nibbed Eversharp (with the Slipper cap): to me this a beautiful pen, though unremarkable to most others I guess. I envisaged daily use of a P51 mark1. At the higher end of the market, from my perspective, I thought one day I may be able to acquire a Pilot 91 with a soft fine medium nib, or that I would be able to at least have a go with one. None of these things is very likely to happen anytime soon (talking possibly years).

 

I guess I will have to remain content with what is at hand right now.

 

So, I wish to thank those who offered advice and encouragement. The lessons of the dharma are revealed in sometimes unexpected quarters.

 

Ebay as an auction site is now off limits. My blind-spot in regard to it is simply too large, and I have barely any energy or heart to do anything about it. Still useful for instant buys though.

 

 

This is a much better community than I expected. And deserves better members than what I am. So I consider myself here on probation.

 

Thank you for reading.

 

May you find peace in this world and in the Pure Land

 

Namo Amituofo

 

Cryptos

[PDW]

I have a small fistful of cheap Asian pens - some of which do not work for some reason I cannot fathom.

 

Cryptos

 

I have found that repairing pens that don't work can be a calming exercise in itself - thinking about the problem and then letting your hands do what your mind, your experience and the transmitted experience of others tell you to do.

 

And the satisfaction of taking something that did not work, making it work and then using it is worth the effort and annoyance.

[Cryptos]

Thank you for that suggestion. I have taken those pens apart. Doing so was relatively simple. Nothing looked amiss to my inexperienced eyes. I even tried a little channel widening on one but it did not make a great deal of difference. The X750 and X450, when they had ink flowing, felt very nice on the page, but the flow never lasted for long. I suspect they may simply be 'wrong-uns' as people say. Maybe a batch that have an imperceptible design quality flaw or something.

 

Anyway, I keep tinkering with them. To no avail as yet.

[Lyander0012]

Though I cannot say that I have ever encountered any of your "heated" posts (your screen name is familiar to me, however), I can understand the way you feel to an extent. As someone who takes pride in his line of education— I'm a psychology major, thanks very much— I find that you are a reasonable and cognizant person. Yes, we all need breaks from the fountain pen nuthouse at times (I myself have taken leave on a couple of occasions at times, though I don't think I've ever really bothered warning others about it), but a permanent leaving just seems a tad excessive, don't you agree? I'm with everyone else on this: take a breather, and come back with an open mind.

 

The forum will receive you with an open heart.

 

Meditation is a relaxing experience, one that I haven't engaged in for quite a while. Perhaps I ought to set some time aside every week (busy schedule) for it. Anyway, I find that tweaking with my pens every once in a while is relaxing. The amount of care and focus involved in this and calligraphy have served to even my temper over the past few years. And yes, I also play with those that don't really have any issues, under the guise of "maintenance", haha. Do try your best to put those Asian pens back in working order; the satisfaction of restoring a fountain pen, I notice, is immensely rewarding.

 

Lastly, as someone who had anger issues when younger, there's nothing wrong with showing aggression from time to time. Some people do need to be put into their place, though you need the wisdom to discern those from others, and it diminishes whatever amount of stress you build up inside yourself. The vast majority of individuals on this forum are extremely nice people, people I've come to respect and enjoy interacting with, despite my never having seen any of them in person. Chats regarding things we're passionate about (in this case, FPs, ink, paper, penmanship, etc.) tend to become lively and fun; knowledgeable people offer or proffer their experience, and those new to the hobby learn as a result. It's a good working model, if I do say so myself.

 

 

Cheers, and best wishes.

Kevin

[Cryptos]

Kevin, congratulations on achieving your major. I am a little old school regarding education and still think that a University degree is very impressive achievement.

 

Meditation is many things to many people, and may take many forms or no form at all. When you find a method that resonates in some way it is quite wonderful. And over time you may need to change the method as you yourself change. I would fully support your endeavour to take up the practice again. I've been a dharma practitioner for a relatively short time (about 2 years), but I have been a traditional taijiquan practitioner for two decades. Normally I am an unusually imperturbable fellow. I think the stress of the last 3 years must have been building like a kind of pressure cooker.

 

Thank you for your best wishes.

[oldmatekev]

Thank you for that suggestion. I have taken those pens apart. Doing so was relatively simple. Nothing looked amiss to my inexperienced eyes. I even tried a little channel widening on one but it did not make a great deal of difference. The X750 and X450, when they had ink flowing, felt very nice on the page, but the flow never lasted for long. I suspect they may simply be 'wrong-uns' as people say. Maybe a batch that have an imperceptible design quality flaw or something.

 

Anyway, I keep tinkering with them. To no avail as yet.

 

My X450 has a hard plastic feed that sometimes under gentle writing pressure minutely separates from the back of the nib, causing a temporary air-lock. Forcing ink into the feed by turning the converter usually fixes it.

 

A better fix is to set the feed to the nib by removing both nib and feed, placing the feed in a cup of boiled water for a minute then while it's still hot re-assemble the nib and feed into the section (be careful, the X450 assembly will only go in one way, practice while it's cold). Leaving a bit less nib protruding beyond the end of the feed is worth a try too.

 

This process works very well with ebonite feeds, plastic less so, but plastic does soften a bit at that temperature.

 

I fully agree with one of the previous posters; making something work properly (or even just better) is very satisfying, particularly when it involves the application of manual skill.

I'm a practical man and I like practical things.

[Gloucesterman]

"The Road to Wisdom"

from "Grooks" by Piet Hein © 1966 MIT Press Cambridge, Massachusetts and London, England

 

The road to wisdom? ---Well, it's plain and simnple to express:

Err

and er

and err again,

but less

and less

and less.

 

Whatever your choice, know that it is the correct one for you and be at Peace!

[OcalaFlGuy]

this is nothing. You should visit one of my sportbike forums. People get so heated up over things said on the forums it'd end up in full swearing matches (forum is fully uncensored) and threats of violence amongst well known posters. The next day you'd go out riding with them and trust your life to them and vice versa.

 

Don't believe me. Go to bcsportbikes.com There's a lively heated debate going on right now. I would expect no less from a testosterone filled bunch of (bleep).

 

Sometimes I forget which forum I'm on I have to tame my level of discussion down, or ramp it up.

 

And THAT'S nothing compared to the Long Distance (motorcycle) Riders forum of the Iron Butt Association.

 

Many of those members from all over the U.S. know each other well from having competed in the same Endurance riding events Around the country.

 

These folks will ride 1000 miles for *Dinner*. P them O bad enough and they just might ride the same 1000 miles to be sitting on your doorstep to discuss the matter with you up close and personal the next morning.

 

Bruce in Ocala, Fl

[Ambien]

I didn't find your posts to be "below the standards" of the forum. Nevertheless I hope you have a restful break from your stress. FPN will still be around when you decide to return. Good luck.

[Lamyrada]

Your apology seems sincere. May a suggest? Your name may be linked to your "past behavior"

 

Why don't you ask your account to be deleted, ask or change to another USER-ID and start anew? Of course, you don't need to let anyone know who you are, get another avatar and start using that nice, beautiful personality you have grown into. It is an act of bravery to acknowledge our faults, so I salute you. Well done! I can suggest further: Use the same avatar with two wings on the shoulders. Those who know will be aware that it is your new "you" and will also serve as a reminder for you to behave….

 

MAny happy future postings!

(your signature is great, I see you live by it)

Edited June 5, 2014 by Lamyrada

[Cryptos]

@oldmatekev, I will try the feed/nib setting trick with the hot water. See if that makes a difference. Thank you.

 

@Lamyrada, thank you for those kiind words. Although my User-ID is typically anonymous (as so many are - my actual name is David) I feel no need to hide what has gone before on the forum. I may be ashamed of previous behaviour and the manner in which I spoke to various people, but will take responsibility for my words and actions. Rest assured it is not a weight around my neck, rather it is a bell of mindfulness. Same goes for my avatar. It is impossible to remain angry or at odds with the world when I look at the Venerable's face.