The Wife Isn't Impressed And I'm Worried I've Become Addicted!

[Guernseytim]

A friend of mine, his dad was the MD of an offshore trust company and director of a private bank. Very wealthy man.

 

He used to buy armani, zenga etc suits, hide them in the wardrobe for a couple of months, then when the wife spotted him wearing it he'd legitimately state "oh, I've had this quite a while"

 

It worked for him

Edited May 28, 2014 by Guernseytim

[GTOZack]

lol

[ac12]

This is what I need to work on, give myself some sort of "allowance". I've only recently renewed my interest in fountain pens and within the past 2 months -- heh, notice that this coincides with the amount of time I've been on FPN -- I have picked up 9 pens, 14 bottles of ink, 17 samples, plus a bunch of other misc pen accessories.

 

I need to start thinking about paper...

 

The allowance is the other way.

Budget something, say $50 a month on pens, and THAT IS IT.

Then you decide if you want to buy a $50 pen each month, or save up for 4 months for a $200 pen.

But it is not only pens. Included in that pen budget is ink, paper, stamps for pen pal letters, and other accessories. So that $200 pen may take 5 months to save up for.

To be effective, this is an all encompassing budget. You can't sneak a purchase around the budget or you defeat the purpose of the budget.

 

Couple ideas

#1 - It will be more concrete if you have box/envelope where you put your allowance in each month, and take the money out to pay for the pens and supplies.

Want something now and don't have enough funds in the box. Write an IOU to the box. Then don't buy anything more, and pay that IOU each month until it is paid off. The idea is to pay off the IOU quickly, and not drag it on. Or like credit cards, you will be in debt forever. To make that IOU hurt, charge yourself $10 a month "service charge" each month that you have an outstanding IOU.

 

#2 - A paper ledger record would also do, but it is not as concrete as the money box, where you can see what you have available to spend.

That paper ledger can be quite shocking if you really track ALL your pen expenses.

 

The worst is to try to remember what you spent, because your memory is never perfect.

And you will not know your balance.

 

I do the envelope trick for my birds.

I sell surplus bird that I breed, and I put the money into my "bird fund" envelope.

When I want to buy a new bird to breed, I pay for it out of my "bird fund."

It is a simple way to keep spending in check.

 

I read about one guy who has a variation of the budget.

Husband and wife both have an allowance of $xxx a month. It is planned for in their financial budget. So there is no financial shock with the spending.

They each can spend their allowance however they please (within reason) without complaint from the other.

- Husband spends his $ on booze and golf.

- Wife spends her $ on shoes, purses and jewelry.

 

Unless there is sufficient funds in the family budget, excessive spending is one way to head to a bankruptcy and divorce.

So while some of what has been said by other is in jest, the budget must be managed properly.

Edited May 28, 2014 by ac12

[DaveBj]

I'm fortunate. My wife doesn't care how many pens I buy, because I get them all out of my personal $$$ But then my appetite for new pens isn't all that voracious.

[Runnin_Ute]

A friend of mine, his dad was the MD of an offshore trust company and director of a private bank. Very wealthy man.

 

He used to buy armani, zenga etc suits, hide them in the wardrobe for a couple of months, then when the wife spotted him wearing it he'd legitimately state "oh, I've had this quite a while"

 

It worked for him

Been there done that. (watches AND pens)

[ajcoleman]

For me, part of "slowing down" on the purchases is finding new ways to enjoy the hobby besides buying new pens. Try different inks in different pens. One of the fascinating things about fountain pens is that each nib is unique. Even two pens of the same model and nib size may write slightly differently. With the number of pens and inks you have, there are almost limitless combinations to try. Perhaps other aspects of this field may interest you, like adjusting nibs, working on penmanship, learning the history of various pen companies, or taking good photographs of your pens.

[dunhamsa]

Yes, this is the ey to avoiding questions.

Yeah, that is also my advice. It is a great way to avoid those icy stares.

[Algester]

nope the stage will come to pass... still 5 Minis... thats a bit... you could have gotten a Vac 700 <_< >_> but eh... if I were given the choice 1 pen a lot of nibs... lol but hey I have 2 Lamys with me a Vista and a Logo but I almost ave the complete nib line up

[proton007]

Hide!!

Hide your packets from your wife. Use a locker, or rent out some storage space elsewhere! Under the bed, over the closet... Keep a watch out for that postman, make sure you collect the packet before anyone else gets a whiff.

 

 

 

The appetite for pens and inks gradually tapers down. Initially you'll purchase a lot, gradually you start to move towards refinement. Now I only purchase once every few months, when I started it was the opposite.

[ksaarto]

I know the feeling, since I am just starting this hobby, I too am addicted and overwhelmed. I want pens, inks and papers NOW. I can control it pretty well by using only paypal. My another hobby is to make photos into digital paintings. I sell those in Fiverr and I earn around 50-100$/month. That is the only money I use to get pen stuff. Giving yourself a monthly allowance as suggested would probably work as well.

 

Since my budget is limited, I really need to do some research instead of buying stuff on a whim, hunting for the bargains is fun and since you only get a pen every now and then you'll have time to enjoy it as well.

 

My wife knows I've gone nuts, but she's alright with it, because I'll buy pens for her too. This morning she said that "at least its gonna be really easy to pick up presents for you from now on.". That is so true, I'll be a happy guy if someone gives me a bottle of fun colored ink or some nice letter paper, and those don't cost much.

[RuiFromUK]

Apologies Blueorb but I find your behaviour perfectly normal.

Edited May 28, 2014 by RuiFromUK

[erpe]

Sounds familiar, for one it's books, camera;s and pens, for the other it's watches, bags and shoes. As long as the habit doesn't empty the fridge it's ok I guess.

 

And it's not an addiction, I can stop at any time, I promise, sort of....

[richardandtracy]

Try limiting yourself to a pocket money sized budget. From 1991 to 2013 my wife & I allowed ourselves £30 per month pocket money each. All personal luxuries, like pens, came out of this. No overspend permitted, and expensive stuff had to be saved up for. Worked well for us. Also meant that my wife couldn't quibble at all.

The 'pay rise' was very late in coming - and the purchasing power by 2013 was down to 60% of 1991 levels, so we did restore it to its 1991 purchasing value, and since I have been unable to spend as much as that: thrift has become a habit.

 

Regards,

 

Richard

[lahlahlaw]

Stop buying pens for a few months so you can try this out: use only 1 pen inked at a time for a full fill until its out. If you get the urge to move onto another pen before its cycle is up then maybe you dont like that particular one as much as you thought you did. In which case - sell it and buy three to replace it (;-)).

[inkstainedruth]

A friend of mine, his dad was the MD of an offshore trust company and director of a private bank. Very wealthy man.

 

He used to buy armani, zenga etc suits, hide them in the wardrobe for a couple of months, then when the wife spotted him wearing it he'd legitimately state "oh, I've had this quite a while"

 

It worked for him

Yeah, only the flip side is that my brother in law's wife has a habit of buying clothes and then deciding after she gets home with them that she didn't want them after all. Only one time, she lost the receipt, so she couldn't return them. Needless to say, my B-i-L was NOT pleased....

Ruth Morrisson aka inkstainedruth

[grainweevil]

Five Minis? Hey, one more and you can have one for each nib size...

 

Clearly, like the rest of the membership, I can offer no help in curbing pen purchasing, only encouragement. Sorry.

 

Cheers, Al

[WaskiSquirrel]

You're lucky it's only your wife. I'm single, so I have to answer to myself. Waski_the_Squirrel is tough about money!

 

What has worked for me are a few easy tricks.

 

• The first one is a budget. I don't have a rigid budget the way I should, but I have a pretty firm budget. It keeps me in line.
• The second trick is to wait. I'll go to websites, fill my basket, and then wait a month or two so I can be sure I really want the items in question. I recently canceled about $200 of inks and nibs at one website because the interest wore off. I still want two of the bottles, so I may buy them later on, but the delay forced me to think about it and realize what I really, truly wanted to spend money on.
• A third trick is to read reviews during the delay. I've realized a lot of my problem is curiosity. Reviews often satisfy this.
• A fourth trick is to think what else the money could buy. That $200 I wanted to spend could go a long way toward repainting the outside of my house (something I really want to do). Lucky it's a small house!
• A fifth trick is to figure out why I want the item. One of the ink bottles I still want is a pink ink. I don't have any pink inks, so it would be unique. It was also scented, which is...different. I had a black ink on the list, but I have two of these already that I really like, so I don't need to buy another one. If I decide to try it, a sample would be better.
• A final trick (with inks) is to try a sample first. Over the winter, I ordered a bunch of samples of inks I was curious about and couldn't seem to get out of my cart. After trying the samples, my curiosity itch was scratched and I fell in love with one sample. I purchased that sample, and that was it. The samples altogether probably added up to a second bottle of ink.

 

The main thing is self discipline, and that goes way outside pens and inks. Also, as someone suggested, using the pens and inks is the biggest part of the fun.

[OcalaFlGuy]

 

What has worked for me are a few easy tricks.

• A final trick (with inks) is to try a sample first. Over the winter, I ordered a bunch of samples of inks I was curious about and couldn't seem to get out of my cart. After trying the samples, my curiosity itch was scratched and I fell in love with one sample. I purchased that sample, and that was it. The samples altogether probably added up to a second bottle of ink.

 

 

 

Bingeux!

 

Starting early with samples and then buying only bottles I have personally already tried and liked has saved me TONS of money.

 

Plus for me its great fun looking at all the comparisons of whatever color I'm interested in, reading the reviews and figuring out Exactly which ink to sample too. None of that costs a single penny.

 

Bruce in Ocala, Fl

[colrehogan]

Buy her some new shoes and she'll forget all about it!

If my ex had tried that with me, I would have said, "What do I need new shoes for? The current ones aren't worn out yet."

 

I didn't learn about this place until after the divorce had already occurred.

[WirsPlm]

Everyone goes through a honeymoon phase with new hobbies so you're definitely not alone, I found that the best way to deal with it was to limit myself to less than $10 a pen and to try and explore all the different pen features (so that I had something reasonable for why I wanted a new pen, it had X feature that I wanted to try), in this way I built a collection of a really astonishing number of pens and could try out all kinds of things to decide what I like for the price of 2 or 3 expensive pens. Setting a free spending limit (pocket money, no guilt allowance, whatever you want to call it) is a good trick that a lot of people recommend because humans are impulsive creatures. I also found that reading lots of reviews helped (like Waski), putting things in my cart and then holding off on clicking buy (this only works if you can easily forget about the carts, it doesn't work for everyone), and reminding myself of what I already have is also a good tactic, if I want something new I'll go play with what I have lying around already and see if the urge passes. Take some time to go shopping in your pen cabinet, try out a pen you haven't for a while, maybe try a new ink or try mixing something of your own.