Salutations And Sign-Offs

[pen2paper]

Dear, as in, Of Great Value, was my first favorite word. I think it's a fine word to use when addressing a person.

 

Dearest, now that would be reserved for someone who occupies a large space in ones heart.

 

Sincerely,

p2p

[Just I]

In my experience - in email the people who use "Dear" are the ones that know me the least - vendors, unknown sales people, manufacturers etc. Digitally I have come to regard the word with a cynical eye, i see it and I know someone is going to try to sell me something. :-) This observation leads me to start with a good morning xxx for most of my business emails. I regularly email back and forth with a large number of people I have not met and most people go with a "hello", "hi" or nothing at all.

 

Handwritten mail is a different story (pun intended). As soon as it is a handwritten note, I find it natural to start with "dear". Dearest is a bit familiar for my taste. But really for me, when it comes to receiving a handwritten letter, I am mostly just thrilled someone took the time and could start it with "yo, dudette!" and I would still be happy. :-)

[pen2paper]

k yo du dette... that said, though I don't know you.. I am prepared to view you with respect, and as of great value.

 

K, and Yo, still mean Dear, to me... go kick a dog somewhere, or demean another human being, then we can rectify that, pronto.

later.

[requiescat]

In my experience - in email the people who use "Dear" are the ones that know me the least - vendors, unknown sales people, manufacturers etc. Digitally I have come to regard the word with a cynical eye, i see it and I know someone is going to try to sell me something. :-) This observation leads me to start with a good morning xxx for most of my business emails. I regularly email back and forth with a large number of people I have not met and most people go with a "hello", "hi" or nothing at all.

 

Handwritten mail is a different story (pun intended). As soon as it is a handwritten note, I find it natural to start with "dear". Dearest is a bit familiar for my taste. But really for me, when it comes to receiving a handwritten letter, I am mostly just thrilled someone took the time and could start it with "yo, dudette!" and I would still be happy. :-)

See, I get contacts from people previously unknown to me a fair amount of the time; usually they are anthologists asking for reprint rights or editors asking for a story for X magazine, so the fact that they're trying to get something out of me is an accepted part of the transaction since if the terms are not favorable I will say no. But obviously circumstances differ.

 

I did a tally of more-or-less business-related emails going back through 1 Jan 2013, only counting the beginning of the thread and omitting mass emails to, say, all the contributors to an antho (I do business almost entirely digitally, except for contracts, which may be physical or digital):

 

People who don't know me, salutations:

none: 1

Hi: 7

Hello: 6

Happy birthday!: 0 (admittedly that one's only good once a year!)

Dear: 9

some variation of my name (Yoon or Yoon Ha Lee, usually): 3

Hey: 1

 

People who do know me, salutations:

none: 15

Hi: 21

Hello: 7

Happy birthday!: 1

Dear: 18

name: 5

Hey: 4

 

I mean, this is a very fuzzy count, but there seems to be quite a bit of variation. I don't really notice this stuff. I'm more busy looking for the pay rates and due dates and whether X is something I can reasonably do.

[GabrielleDuVent]

If you find "Dear" romantic, try this one:

"HONORED AND RESPECTED SIR:"

Anne Shirley comments that this must have given the addressee quite a feeling of superiority... the letter in question was a love letter. It was signed "your obedient servant". More followed, such as "your tenderest, most faithful friend". She copied them from a stack of love letters she found in an attic at a place she was taking lodging; she generally started with "Gilbert dear" or "Dearest" and signed off with things like "yours".

 

I personally start my letters off with "dear" unless I'm a little more intimate... but then I start with just a name. Signing off I just write my name.

 

It might also have something to do with locale? I was told when I came to the US that signing off "love" was inappropriate in most circumstances, but in England that's fairly common between friends.

[legume]

I don't like to use add-ons at all. In formal situations it comes of as too familiar, and in personal situations, too formal. Dear is such an empty word. In business correspondence, whoever I'm writing to is not my dear, nor are they dear to me. It's common now to just write Ms. or Mr. Whoever as a greeting, and sign off with thank you for your time, and your name. I like it. It wastes no time or space and makes no assumptions. What matters these days is conciseness. Omitting salutations certainly isn't because I don't know the established form of writing a letter, but because I don't see the need to be so overly long-winded and old fashioned. I'm not one of those who sigh and long for bygone times, looking at them through rose colored glasses. I don't think we're missing out on all that much with the omission of two or three words.

[kenhsv]

My Fellow Fountain Pen Friends,

 

It is with great fascination that I have read and enjoyed the writings of the participants contained in this thread. Thank you all for your interesting thoughts.

 

With deep gratitude,

 

Kenny Wayne

[jaqcp]

If one tries too hard to sound formal, it comes off like those emails informing me of my Nigerian princely status that will allow me to import millions of $ back into the country for just a small fee . . .

 

As trite and boring as Dear and Sincerely seem, they are also familiar to the American audience and seem natural.

 

As a Christian minister, however, I often use and receive genre-specific salutations such as, "'In Him', 'In Christ', or 'In the One whom we serve,'" etc., followed by one's name.

[kingcobradude]

For me, I find the salutation Dear to be to have a romantic connotation. It makes me very uncomfortable to write, and possibly even more so to read in a letter I have received. Same with the salutations of Yours Truly and Sincerely Yours. Sincerely used alone does not. I always use the person's name or the phrase Sir or Madam for the salutation, and Sincerely for the salutation. I also have a dislike of unnecessary formality.